Why ignoring flexible thinking is a costly mistake
Have you ever noticed how much flexible thinking is needed just to get through the day? Perhaps not. Flexible thinking is one of those skills which, although we use it all the time, lurks well below the radar. And that’s probably why it’s hardly ever considered as a target for autistic children. In fact, we may even ignore it in favour of creating a stable, routinised environment for our children.
Now we know that autistic children have a very strong need for order, certainty, and predictability. And I want to stress that teaching flexibility is not about preventing your child from playing with their favourite toys or watching the same TV programme over and over again. Children’s routines, rituals and choices have important functions and we should not attempt to stop them. But we do need to recognise the importance of flexibility and find ways to equip children with this life skill. Not convinced? Following on from last week’s article, here are 5 more reasons why we should begin the process of building flexible thinking skills in autistic children.
- Problem Solving and Adapting
To solve a problem, you need to be able to think of an outcome you want to achieve. You have to imagine how you can change your current situation to one that is different. That sounds like a lot of mental gymnastics and of course it is. Take, for example, a young child who wants something that is out of reach. Getting that object might mean climbing up onto a chair or asking someone for help. But sometimes autistic children stay stuck because they can’t imagine or carry out these possibilities.
Similarly, adapting means recognising that Plan A is not working and considering a Plan B or even, a Plan C. So, if your child can’t go out to play because it’s raining, they may become very upset because they can’t think of an alternative, like going indoors to play Lego instead.
- Prioritising
In a world where we are increasingly faced with so many options and things to do, it’s vital that we have a system which enables us to spot what’s most important. A child who has 5 pieces of homework but only enough time for 2, needs to consider which ones have to be handed in the next day and which ones can be left for now. That takes flexible thinking and is the opposite of what a systematic thinker might do. An autistic child may well start at the beginning and move through all the tasks in a logical order but then get into difficulty because the homework that is due the next day hasn’t been done.
- Negotiating and Compromising
Negotiating and compromising are important in relationships. Mentally, they involve letting go of one idea, considering another idea and moving forwards with a third idea. That takes a lot of flexible thinking. It’s no wonder that playtime can be stressful for many autistic children. They may have a very hard time accepting that other children don’t want to play their game or that they can have fun playing a different game. It may also not occur to them that friends can take turns to choose the game.
- Seeing Another Person’s Perspective
Being able to see another person’s perspective is important in relationships in general and essential when it comes to resolving conflict. You have to recognise that your take on the situation is just one point of view and the other person’s opinion is equally valid. This is notoriously difficult for autistic children and you guessed it, it requires flexible thinking.
- Handling Change and Uncertainty
We’re probably all familiar with this one. Autistic children often find change difficult to manage. Whether it’s moving from one activity to another or more significant changes, such as starting school or perhaps even going on holiday – the fallout can be massive. Perhaps a less obvious feature of change is that it involves uncertainty. And uncertainty can show up in a plethora of daily activities – especially for a child. Uncertainty about what’s coming up next, uncertainty about how to do a task, uncertainty about what a person will say … the list continues and explains why so many everyday tasks can pose huge challenges to someone who has difficulty thinking flexibly.
So, 5 more reasons why flexible thinking is essential in everyday life. Please join me next week as we explore how to start equipping young children with flexible thinking skills.
To your parenting journey!
Linda Philips
Parenting Autism
