Four ways to improve your child's ability to follow instructions
Getting your child to follow your instructions can be a challenge which leaves you feeling drained! Autistic children have different ways of processing information meaning that it can be much harder for them to do certain things. And this certainly applies to the area of following directions. They are often very self-directed and as a result, they don’t find it easy to stop what they are doing and focus on the agenda of another person. Also, their lack of social understanding means that it is less likely that they will comply, simply because you told them to, or because they want to please you.
Thankfully, there are some things that you can do to increase the likelihood of compliance when it comes to instructions.
- Get your child’s attention
Because your child may find it harder to shift their focus from what they are doing onto you when you start speaking, it’s helpful to say their name first. This signals that you are talking to them and gives them some extra time to tune in. It also reduces the likelihood that they will “tune you out” as background noise.
- Visuals
Visuals often add a little magic to the process! Children who ignore spoken information will sometimes respond very well to visual information in the form of pictures or symbols. Visual information removes the confrontational element of a parent telling their child what to do. It’s neutral.
Unlike spoken language, visual information also stays present for a long time thereby giving your child extra processing time when it comes to working out what you want them to do. So, if tidying away toys is a problem, have a tidy up picture which you show your child rather than using spoken language to tell them. The same applies to bath or bed-time.
- Timing
Because transitions are often difficult for autistic children, it doesn’t help to spring things on them. They need warning so that they have time to mentally prepare for what’s coming up next. Many children get upset if an activity they are enjoying ends suddenly. So, tell your child that there is a change coming up.
Time is a very abstract concept, and young children often have no idea what 2, 5 or 10 minutes means. Instead of telling your child that they can have 5 more minutes, try using a sand-timer so that they can see when the time is coming to an end. You could also give them something concrete, for example, “5 more pushes on the swing”.
- Language
When you tell your child what to do, use short sentences with simple language. Many autistic children have problems processing spoken language and they are much more likely to follow something they can understand.
Also, it’s helpful to use positive rather than negative language. And by that, I mean tell them what you want them to do not what you don’t want them to do. So instead of “don’t run”, try “walk slowly”. The brain is simply wired to process positive language more effectively.
Well, there are 4 ways to improve your child's ability to follow instructions. Yes, it can be challenging but do keep in mind that your child is probably not ignoring you on purpose. They genuinely need more support when it comes to processing instructions. And remember, you are doing your best and there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
To your parenting journey!
Linda Philips
MSc. Human Communication
